Expectations

We pretend our lives are good. During our "blessed" times, when all is going well, we think in our heads that we are so close to God, and that we are serving and following him so faithfully. When our faith wavers, and our strength fails us, we curse ourselves for being so unfaithful to him. So we hide it. If we're following God faithfully, then we should always be joyful to him right? And when we are weak in our faith because we're so busy, and when we start to turn our eyes from God, we tell others that we need prayer, and that we need to meditate in the word more, and that if we become closer to God, then things will amend. Our deepest struggle is that we are unable to share the gospel effectively to our friends and roommates, and that we feel judged by other people for being a Christian.

So we go to prayer meeting and share. We receive prayer.

We talk to a brother, or sister, and they give advice and prayer.

But all we share is what we're expected to share. We rarely share what we really feel, and when we do, we package it into the most candy coated shell, so that it seems that a little prayer and focus will help us. But we are desparate people, DESPARATE. Even as Christians, we are still WRETCHED, SINFUL, DEPRAVED, and only through God can we be made well. We have to latch on to God with everything we have, with every bit of power in us.

We don't want people to think that we aren't in control, so we don't let them know. We don't tell people that we have zero desire to seek God. We don't tell people that our sexual lust consumes every second of our thought. People don't know how much we hurt. All we tell them is that we have thorns in our side, when we actually have gaping wounds, death creeping closer to our heart.

But we're expected to be a certain way, and even to suffer a certain way, so we expect the same from others.

And when we pray, we pray, not because we care about them, but because it's what you're supposed to do to help people feel better. Because we've learned that "prayer is power," and prayer will magically heal hurts, and that God will just fill our hearts with good feelings and burning desire to seek him. And when they share, we don't probe further to see if there is more hurt beyond the surface pain, because it's too awkward to see more pain than we're supposed to have.

Is your future worth more than your suffering brother? Is a steady job more important than your struggling sister? Are you aware that the person next to you is hurting deeply? Or are you satisfied with their confession of a lack of dedication in reading the word?